This mixed media painting titled "I'm sorry I should've painted instead..." is a 16 x 20 creation I made using acrylic paint, air-dry clay, and cotton yarn. As someone who struggles with severe daily suicidal ideation and dark intrusive thoughts that led to self-harm during my middle school years, I have found that coping through art has been a lifeline for me. It was suggested by my father and has provided an outlet for expression that I continue to rely on to this day.
 
In this piece, the meticulous application of the cotton yarn is an expression of my obsessive nature and perfectionism. The tedious process of glueing each piece to create the illusion of multiple eyes following the viewer around the room took hundreds of hours and represents my willingness to push myself to my limits. The blackest black acrylic paint, Black 3.0, was used for the cut-out eyes painted on separate pieces of canvas to further enhance the illusion of the eyes following the viewer. Additionally, there are glow-in-the-dark elements that can be charged by sunlight or flashlight, adding an extra layer of depth to the piece.
 
This painting is a testament to my struggle with mental health and the power of art as a form of expression. The eyes of the piece serve as a constant reminder of the inner turmoil that is often hidden from the outside world. I incorporate multiples of eyes in the background of my pieces to express my social anxiety and paranoia. I believe that people are always watching me and I can never have a moment of peace. Even when I'm alone, the voice inside my head is judging me. Eyes are a repeated theme in my pieces, often painted blacked out to depict a sense of emptiness and being a mere reflection of those around me. I use the eyes that follow the viewer to create a feeling of unease and convey the message that the viewer is being watched and judged, just as I often feel.